"Helping People Learn to Help Themselves..." Since 1983

Marney DeFoore LCSW-S

   Counseling  |  Coaching
 Professional Development

Readings

Build self confidence, increase self esteem and improve self image by making lasting changes.



Procrastination

“How familiar are you with saying to yourself, ‘I need to, but I don't have time. Oh well, I will get around to it.’ Well, there is no such thing, folks! We all have the same amount of time each week, 168 hours to be exact. The question is not, ‘Do you have time?’ The question is ‘What will you do with your time?’"



When Others Make Hurtful Decisions

"How do you deal with someone that you love very much when they are making decisions that are hurtful (i.e. using drugs, abusing alcohol, or living a lifestyle that is against your morals or convictions, etc)?"


Breaking Free from Addictions

"Addicted people need to deal with the causes of addiction in a head-on manner partnering with the therapist and his or her own family. This is not a unique approach, but it is a very effective way to get clean and stay clean."

Growing with Purpose

"Have you made peace with your past? As time passes, are you coming to know and love yourself more? Do you know where you want to be in two, five, or 10 years?"

Daily Self-Evaluation

"What is the net result of your life today? Here is one way of evaluating this. What do you do to and for yourself at the end of each day? Perhaps more importantly, what do you say to yourself about the life you are living at the end of each day?"

Communications 101

"The word communication describes what happens as messages are sent and received between parties. What are you communicating? Are your messages being received clearly? What messages are you receiving, and are you certain they are those that were intended? In other words, is your communication clear?"

A Cause for Action

"We now know that in childhood each person makes decisions about self-worth to the level of the value of one’s very existence. Eric Berne called these Script decisions. Do you know yours?"

The Process of Change

"Change is a process, not an event.  Decide to live life in a manner of your own choosing, behaving in a fashion that reflects your new decision, and create a way of life that is consistent and positive."

Changing Overnight

"No one changes overnight, right? What if you learned there was one single thing that could help you bolster your immune system, fight disease, feel more refreshed during the day, improve your outlook on life, increase your concentration level, help you focus more clearly on and remember more about what is important to you – would you be interested?"

Conflict Resolution

"Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. It is a part of life that we learn to deal with effectively or we suffer the consequences. How do you manage conflict? What is your conflict management style?"

A Contract with Yourself

"Our general sense of well-being, the feelings we experience day to day, the quality of our relationships, and even our outlook towards the future all stem from a set of basic decisions made in childhood. Many of these early decisions do not serve us well in the here and now."

Reconnecting with Yourself

"Something was working well in life until you quit doing what you were doing when it was working. We have all had times when we come to the embarrassing realization that we’ve somehow stopped doing something that was really helping us before we stopped doing whatever it was! Now we find ourselves in a mess of one kind or another – probably a familiar one."

Married to Someone in Recovery

"Addiction is a disease with a progressive course that always gets worse ending in incarceration, hospitalization, or death unless recovery begins. Recovery is a process with periods of positive and negative change. You will be well-served to begin to study recovery in order to know what is happening in the life of your loved one."

Meaningful Conversations with Teens

"I met recently with a client who in desperation said, ‘I need to know what to say to my teen. Help me! Every time I ask questions all I hear is yes, no, or I don’t know.’ Here are some ideas that may help in this area." 

Mental Fitness

"Physical fitness involves breaking old and creating new habits. Many give up after repeated failed attempts. Others grow weary but don’t give up. Folks from this latter group are those who get a real payoff from their trial and error. They try, make mistakes, learn, try again, and persist until they succeed. The distinction here is that those who succeed do so by persisting despite whatever emotion they might experience. Mental fitness requires a similar process."

Living the Serenity Prayer

"There is a process for changing your life so as to live in today - for the here and now - for this moment - I call it ‘Living in the Serenity of Prayer.’"

Taking Personal Responsibility

"As adults, we learn to share. Then, something might be mine, it might be yours or in some cases, no one owns it. Sadly, some people grow up never learning to clearly state what does and does not belong to them. When it comes to the area of personal responsibility, many people grow up with a number of bad habits that are used to avoid taking responsibility. See if any of these sound familiar."

Change vs. Resolve

"Who am I taking for granted? What and who am I ignoring right here right now that is in need of my attention? What are the opportunities that lay before me this very minute for truly relishing and enjoying my life?"

Parenting

"While we need a license to drive a car, we require no formal training whatsoever in order to become a parent. What a joy though to have the responsibility of raising your own child. It is in fact a joy for some. For others, parenting is no joy at all. Without question, parenting is one of the most challenging responsibilities in life. For many, parenting grows more and more dynamic as the years pass."

Resolutions

"We’ve all made and "broken" resolutions only to remake them again next year. Do yourself a favor and stop doing what hasn’t worked in the past. Instead, this year consider trying something totally different."

Self-Reprogramming

"I wrote this article in response to something I read in someone’s office. I didn’t like what I read, so I rewrote it here. I hope it fits for you. I sure fits for me!"

The Power of Apology

"What three words do you long to hear? Maybe you want to hear the sound of someone saying, ‘I love you,’ or ‘please forgive me.’ Perhaps you are eager to hear, ‘I am sorry,’ or ‘I forgive you.’ I’ve written in previous articles about the topics of forgiveness and acceptance. The topic this time deals with giving apologies and making amends."

What you Believe About Yourself

"Who is in charge of your life? What do you believe about yourself? Where did you learn to believe this? How is this belief working for or against you? Take a minute or two to examine just one of your beliefs. Here we go…"